How To Get The Digits…

It was my early morning omelet run to one of my favorite spots in town. They know how I like it and well for fuck sakes I like when they say the “usual” because it makes me feel super fucking important in front of all those other one time breakfast folks. This particular day this hot guy walks in, we made eye contact, he smiled and I smiled back…come to think of it I probably looked like I was starving for him but who cares he was a tall glass of Dom Perignon without the pricetag!
Now this guy was into me, I could tell because I got that kind of animal instinct ya’ know what I’m saying? That cougar instinct kicked in and it’s never wrong, Now, in my head I was thinking “hell yeah I am the shit” like, in a confident not really cocky way…well it was in my head so fuck, does it really matter how I said it to myself, oooooook…it was cocky, just a bit.
 He had that look on his face like he wanted to say something to me…I won’t lie, I was like “come on baby” (in my head of course) “give me your number, ask me for mine…something, just say something to me for fuck sakes.” He was taking too long to approach me, even though I was sending him it’s ok to approach me signals….I could tell he was trying to play it safe, he wasn’t sure if I was approachable…I don’t know why, I was practically drooling at the sight of him.

”Your omelet is ready” is what I heard next. Now on any other given day this damn omelet takes what feels like 5 hours and 36 minutes to make, but not today. I was out of time, so I grabbed my omelet and headed SLOWLY for the door making eye contact one last time, ya know letting him know it was ok to approach me AGAIN…so he does…men are so fucking predictable. He says “hello”, it was so fucking sexy I almost melted on the spot, I say “hi”, he’s gazing into my eyes so I know he’s feeling me in that moment and inside I’m like “you’re fucking bad ass girl”… Truth is I just knew he couldn’t let me leave without saying something to me, the flirting was just too intense. He continues “I have to tell you something girlfriend”, I screamed “noooooooooooooo” in my head…say it ain’t so…did he say “girlfriend”?…he did… holding onto whatever hope I had at this point that I was going to get those digits no matter fucking what was going on here, my animal instinct can’t be this off, it never is…I said “of course”  next he says “DAAAAAYUM GIRRRRL” I’m starting to lose my confidence just a bit and the emphasis on “Daaaaayum”  had me questioning my animal instinct. 

It ended quickly at this point as he breaks down the reason why he was “flirting” with me.  “Your hair is on point and if you ever want me to do your hair here’s my number”  he handed me his card…I was like “huh” all fucking confused, he was like “yeah, I’m a stylist and I’d love to do your hair.”  I was like, “um, ok” lost for words obviously, totally missed the mark on that one feeling like my animal instincts let me down….then I put that all behind me and walked up the street smiling thinking to myself…”see how I got his digits? All in the approach baby, all in the damn approach” Confidence on 100, sorta but not really…let’s just say I won’t be sippin on any Dom anytime soon FFS ~Holla

Truth Moment: I spelled omelet…omelette this entire blog… it had the red squiggly line under it so I changed it to omelet thinking I lost all ability to spell this word but I was sure I was spelling it right…so what does one do when they aren’t sure of something ? Googled it damn it…in Canada  we spell it omelette but I’m too lazy to go back and change it now FFS, well omelet or omelette who the fuck cares… the story was about me getting his digits and I did that so don’t be all judgey and shit ~Holla