Good Deed Gone Wrong…

My dad lived in a seniors building before he passed away. My dad was old enough in age to be in that building but young enough at heart to not be considered a senior citizen. Truthfully speaking he brought the living dead back to life when he moved into the Gordon B Isnor Building. He was so well liked that when my dad had passed away someone had taken his obituary and an 8×10 photo of him and made copies for the bulletin board on each floor of the building, he was kind of like a legend in that building to be honest. The residents really missed him and I got to hear about all of the pranks my dad would pull on people in the building. One time he took a bungee cord and hooked one end onto the door handle on the left side of the hallway and then stretched it to reach the door directly across from it and hooked it on that one. He knocked on the doors and both residents tried to open the door at the same time….of course he sat outside their doors and laughed while they called him a “fucking asshole” Later they could be found at his place chugging back a beer and laughing about what an asshole he was.

I had an uncle living in the building too and on this particular day as I was leaving from visiting him I ran into a couple on the elevator that my dad knew…her name was Ellen and his name was Robert. They both had to be in their 70s or maybe 80s, we were chatting and they told me they were going to meet some friends for supper…I asked them where they were going to eat supper and they told me the were heading to the Hope Cottage. I was lost for words. For those reading this blog who are not familiar with the Hope Cottage, it’s a place where the less fortunate go for a meal.

I got off the elevator and thought about them as I walked to my vehicle. I decided to drive around the block and look for them…I found them. I told them I was going to supper (which I totally made up) and asked if they would like to join me…they politely declined because they were meeting their friends and couldn’t stand them up. They asked if we could go another night and we all agreed to go the upcoming Friday night. Friday comes and I go pick them up, we go to local diner and have supper and share stories…They tell me tons of stories about my dad and all the pranks he pulled in the building, we were really getting to know each other…it was a really nice dinner, Ellen talked a lot, she had so many stories to tell and Richard sat there quietly smiling, nodding in agreement every once in a while when she would nudge him.

As I dropped them off we agreed we’d do it again…Ellen thought it was a good idea to exchange numbers. I gave her mine and she gave me hers…She then suggested that Robert give me his number in case I called her and she wasn’t in her apartment, so I took his number too. Both Ellen and Robert were very appreciative, he didn’t say much at dinner but as we drove home he told me he was going to get me a Christmas gift because he thought that was a really nice thing to do…of course I was like “now you don’t have to do that” and you know how old people are he kept insisting and I kept saying no thanks…as he got out of the vehicle and reached back in for his cane he said “I’m still gonna buy you a gift no matter what you say” I chuckled and said “ok” with no intention of ever accepting a gift from him….I just knew he wanted to give me a gift out of the kindness of his heart and I couldn’t keep saying no to him. Ellen and Robert gave me a big hug and off they went into their building, Robert walking as slow as a turtle and Ellen telling him to “hurry up”…I laughed as she hurried him into the building and then drove off. Oh my heart was so full I felt so great inside.

The next day I received 3 missed calls from Ellen, I instantly thought something bad had happened so I checked my voicemail first before calling her back…I know shocking because I don’t check voicemails but she had left me 3 voicemails.. and I needed to know what happened before I called her back….and here is the ending to my story…I could NOT make this shit up even if I tried…Enjoy the laughs.

(Click each voicemail below to hear why I never called Ellen back)

Voicemail #1: Thank You But You Ain’t Gettin’ No Gift…

Voicemail #2: We Had A Fight Last Night…

Voicemail #3: If I had known you were gonna be trouble…

 

And that my people, is how a good deed went fucking wrong ~ Holla