As we wind down 2019 and start planning how we are going into 2020, we can’t help but mourn the multiple deaths we’ve encountered in 2019. From the matriarch of a community, to someone’s fiancé, to the mothers and fathers who lost their children, to the children both grown and young who have lost their parents to the friends we’ve lost and never had a chance to say good bye…let’s just say our hearts are aching. December has been a month of deaths in our communities and even if we didn’t know those who have passed personally, we very much feel the pain of it all.
Life has a way of surprising us with death. Here today and gone tomorrow has become such a common theme during this month of December that I’m afraid of losing anyone close to me. I’ve been talking to the universe myself, asking for those affected to find a place where they can start to heal…I’ve been hoping each day I wake up that I don’t hear about another death, I’ve been pleading with the universe not to take those closest to me and to spare them for the rest of us to continue to enjoy them. I really have been afraid each and every day. Gosh, we all must be feeling like this…look at how many we’ve lost this month.
As we bring in the New Year, take a moment and remember those who have gone before us in 2019. We owe them that, we owe them the recognition of their existence and we owe them the respect of a thought on the very last day in the year that they graced us with their presence…for some, this year will be forever a year of memories of those we loved and lost. This thing called life is surely a journey of lessons from those who have gone before us.
When I reflect back on 2019, I honestly can’t complain. Was the year perfect? No way. Did I make it through the year? I sure did. Have I lost people in my life? I have, not only to death but just letting go of people who are just taking up space for no reason in my life, which made room for new people to enter. I’ve met some really great people in 2019, I’ve connected on different levels with different people and enjoy the new people the universe put in my path. I am ever so grateful to be able to stand on my own and also grateful to have those to lean on when I need to. For those who took advantage of me or never made an effort when I was making the effort to be part of your life, THANK YOU. You never broke me, you never changed my heart but you lost me and for that I am ever so grateful for you showing me who you really were. Now I don’t want to come off as the “perfect” person, I am not…none of us are. I assure you though that I do my best to be my best and sometimes I fail at that and sometimes I succeed…either way my intentions are always to be good to others no matter their situation.
So as we end 2019, LOVE YOURSELF first, love others, receive love, be kind and patient. Be understanding. Understand that people are going through shit just like you. Try not to take things too personal but don’t let people take advantage of you. If you want to say no, then say no. Be open to new friendships, acquaintances, relationships in general. Look to those older than you for their wisdom. Break any cycle that has been a bad cycle in your family…YOU have the power to do that. Don’t let a job define you, don’t let it create stress that you take home to your family…remember “it’s just a job”. If you have an idea go for it, don’t seek anyone’s approval because you don’t need it. If you fail, don’t hang your head in shame, chin up and keep moving forward. When you need space, unplug, don’t answer the calls or texts until you’re ready….we all have to do this regularly to keep a sound mind. Most of all, enjoy life each and every day…no matter what “your” enjoyment looks like, own it. If that means being home alone watching Netflix, so be it. If it means hanging out with friends, then make the time. If you want to do something and have nobody to do it with you, still do it. Trust me being able to enjoy your own company is one of the most amazing feelings in the world. Travel, see places in the world you’d never imagine seeing. Share your ups, your downs…You may just help someone else in life without knowing it.
In closing, I am about to celebrate NYE with some of my favorite people. At this point, at 12:20 pm on December 31, 2019 I don’t even have my dress, my shoes or a purse…and guess what? I am not even stressing. It will all come together, I’ll pick my dress up from Vogue at some point. I’ll throw on one of my many pairs of shoes and grab some random purse to hold my lipstick in for the night. Today is about no stress, lots of love and patience under the most stressful situations…as I’ve been saying for a while now, “it is what it is”
Cheers to 2020, thank you for following my blogs, for laughing with me and crying with me. Thank you for the shares, the likes and the comments. Thank you for appreciating me for the blogs that I have written. I am looking forward to 2020 with love in my heart and kindness in my soul. May the journey of 2020 be a great one for everyone. #sherryannecrowe