Cat-astrophe…

It was 4 weeks ago when I yelled at the cat as I usually do, “I’ll fucking kill you if I catch you scratching up my chairs again”.  She’s been hearing this shit for years now and I haven’t actually taken action but on this day I think she took me serious so she put a plan into action.  My daughter was up for the weekend and she gives the cat all the love a cat could want so off she goes to treat the cat like a queen.  “Mom” I hear, I roll my eyes with expectations she needs something and yell back “yeah, what’s up?”.  “There’s something wrong with the cat”  yet again another eye roll and a “what the fuck now” under my breath.  Fast forward a bit and she shows me that the cat can’t stand on her back legs, like she can’t stand up…are her legs broken? Now for me this was fucking shocking because I know she needs her back legs to hold herself up while she uses her front legs to scratch my shit up…at some point I thought…well look how karma got your ass!

Anyhoo, this cat could not walk, paralyzed from the waste down…my fucking cat was paralyzed WTF?  Off we go to the emergency vet where I know I am going to be manipulated into a million dollar vet bill all so my daughter doesn’t have a melt down.  Vet checks her over and tells us the spinal cord is not getting information to her brain and she’s paralyzed.  What does this mean?  Do we need a cat wheel chair? Is there such a thing? Well I never did get to ask because she let’s us know we can take her home and let her die peacefully because she wasn’t in any pain or… euthanasia was an option.  Well for fuck sakes, my daughter just about loses it and I won’t lie I was a little teary eyed too.  We opted to take her home and make her comfortable for her final days.   My daughter drove 1.5 hours daily to come see her.  At one point I had a cat sitter checking on her, she confirmed she didn’t have much time, she was an experienced cat lady.  The cat wasn’t eating, drinking or doing much of anything…she definitely wasn’t walking anywhere. I called my neighbor who buried my other cat so surely I was going to ask her to bury this one, the funeral arrangements were done.  Now we wait….

Four days later I see her in a different spot, thinking fuck did she pull herself over to that spot?  Then she was in a different spot minutes later…I’m thinking holy shit she’s pulling herself around the house with her two front paws awwwwwww she’s a fighter.  As I open the shower curtain to get out I fucking screamed because she was there on the bath mat looking at me.  I won’t lie I was more scared than I was curious as to how she got there.  I got the fuck outta the house pretty quick, I needed time to think about this. The next morning the charade was up….this bitch was walking around the house like she owned it.  At first I was happy because my daughter was so fucking stressed about the cat I knew she couldn’t focus on school but then it kicked in…this motherfucking cat played paralyzed and almost got her ass euthanized all to make a fucking point…what was the point? She didn’t say but I suspect it was “Bitch I’ll scratch up anything I fucking want to so save your fucking breath” ~ Holla